Grief isn't just about losing others.

This is grief too.

To you out there, know this, you are allowed to grieve for yourself.

It doesn't matter if this was an event from recent times.

Like a breakup, a rejection, a betrayal, a major setback, or an unexpected loss.

Still, it tore you up inside.

Or even if this was a time from long ago, a time from your childhood perhaps.

A sudden loss, neglect, a let down, a disappointment, or an injustice like being bullied and unfairly treated.

Yet the hurt from these old wounds still seem ever present, despite your efforts all these years to bury them away and turn them into scars.

For me, it took me a long time before I finally learned to grieve for my own childhood.

Of a happy and secure childhood I never had because I lost my mother at an early age.

Instead, I carried the hurt for a long time. This hurt showing up as anger, sadness, emptiness, insecurity and even self-hatred.

But it was through grieving too that I finally allowed myself to heal.

To you out there, I want you to know that grieving for yourself is not something you should ever feel ashamed about.

It's not considered self-pity either.

Because really, it's about no longer ignoring the parts of us that are still hurting.

These may well be the parts that show up as "wayward" emotions, like anger and guilt.

Or parts of us that feel triggered and react in ways that we never wanted.

It might have been hard for us to access these parts because of the pain.

But know this, these are also the parts of us that went through something we never should've been made to go through.

Parts of us that we lost connection to along the way.

And by grieving them, we can access them again.

And by accessing them, we reconnect with them.

And allow ourselves to heal.

Take care,

Hernping

P. S. It's going to be really hard to do this on your own, especially if you went through really tough trauma. Do see a therapist to take you through this okay?