''I feel like paper''

And I am just a paper person, for all the world to see. Written by Clary

-Written by Clary

I'm trying to think of uplifting things. But i genuinely can't. Everything feels like a tired old saying, even if it’s not. 

I just cant reach into that goodness in me - the hopeful version of me that finds a glimmer and holds onto it to stay afloat. 

I'm sinking with the weight of the world tied to my feet. 

The same weight that effortlessly crushes my hollow heart. Like paper mache. 

I feel like paper. 

With paper hopes and dreams — things I carelessly scribbled down years ago and stored in a dusty shelf at the back of a storeroom. Things that once seemed substantial when read, but could never build a life that was enough to be held dear. 

With paper strength — I penned it all down for the world to see. Maybe i should’ve saved that energy, because I’m only as strong as the paper I wrote on. 

All I have are words. words to describe how much it hurts to live, but never enough to convey the extent of what I feel. They only build a silent scream that echoes between unread pages. 

Truth is, I'm ready to be crumpled up and tossed away. Don’t even bother recycling me. let me decompose into the earth. 

And then maybe, I will finally feel like I have a home to belong to.

Yours truly,

Clary

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Clary is a young Singaporean writing, painting and dreaming her way through the world - hoping that one day she'll find her way home again.