The most difficult train to board
All aboard the hogwarts express.
For much of my life, I think I've spent a lot of time sitting and waiting at different train stations.
Some of my favourites were:
“Never Fail Again” Station.
“Never Be Afraid” Station.
And of course, “Nobody Will Ever Judge Me” Station.
I spent years waiting at these stations, hoping that one day, a train would finally arrive and take me somewhere I could feel completely safe.
Somewhere I would never make another mistake. Never feel afraid. Never have to worry about what other people thought of me.
And you know what?
I think all that waiting kept me more stuck than it ever helped. Because what I was really waiting for was certainty.
A train with a guaranteed destination. A journey without disappointment, rejection, or the possibility of getting hurt again.
And I think many of us know what that longing feels like.
Certainty is comforting. It promises us safety, peace, and a life where we no longer have to worry about what might go wrong.
But unfortunately, that's not quite how life works.
Because how much of life can we really control?
We can't go back and change the past.
And no matter how carefully we plan, we can't guarantee what the future will bring.
And perhaps that's what I've slowly come to understand.
Sometimes, waiting until we're no longer afraid means waiting forever.
Waiting until we know we won't fail means never giving ourselves the chance to try.
And waiting until nobody can judge us means letting other people's opinions decide where our lives can go.
So maybe the question isn't whether we can find a train that promises us a perfect journey.
Maybe it's whether we're willing to board one that takes us somewhere meaningful, even without knowing exactly what awaits us.
Of course, planning matters. So does being careful.
But sometimes, what we need even more is the courage to take that first step.
To choose a direction that matters to us, even when uncertainty comes along for the ride.
And as for me, I think I've spent enough time waiting at those stations.
There's a life I'd really like to live.
Here I go.
Take care,
Hernping
💙
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