It's not your fault you couldn't read their minds.

A short story on being true to yourself instead - and why that matters.

"Hey, I think I like you".

Six simple words that come from the most innocent of places.

Six simple words that destroyed everything.

Six words that triggered the above posts.

But really, these words could be anything.

--

Really anything, like wanting to talk about our feelings with someone but it turns out that we're "dumping".

Or wanting to spend more time and it turns out that we are too "needy".

It could just be about asking for more emotional support.

Or asking for reassurance because right now things feel really unstable.

And then it becomes "suffocating" or "controlling".

Or even simply speaking our honest opinion and truth.

And it becomes that we are "toxic".

--

The context of this post was that it all started with those simple words.

"Hey, I think I like you".

Someone said to a friend of many years.

And somehow or another, those words seem to ruin everything for that relationship.

That friend of theirs feeling discomfort and then starting to pull away.

And then more and more distance came.

Until one day that friendship was no more, left in the dust.

And everything was not okay.

Because that person was left in a pool of regret.

Blaming themselves for uttering the words, though honest, but words they felt they should never have said.

--

What's within your domain of control?

Can you control the reactions and emotions of others?

Can you control the outcomes of whatever happens in the future too?

Yes, trauma might teach us to be hypervigilant, but it sure as heck doesn't make us mindreaders too.

As cliche as it sounds, hindsight is 20/20.

All we know is to do what believe is the best, moment by moment.

Each and everyday.

--

And to that person what they realised today was this.

That outcomes, even the negative ones, don't define who we are.

That we can only give the best that we can each day.

And things like rejection, as painful as they are, don't define us too.

What defines us is who we choose to be instead.

Be it honest, genuine, kind, caring, or forthright.

For one day that'll open the door for the right ones to come in instead :)

Take care,

Hernping

#values

#relationships