“Are we just made out of our past selves?”

A client and I sat with an interesting question in counselling today.

A client and I sat with an interesting question in counselling today.

“Are we just made out of our past selves?”

He paused for a long time before answering.

And honestly, I think many of us would struggle with that question too.

Because when we look at our lives, it really can feel that way.

The person we are today often feels like a continuation of every version of ourselves that came before.

The same body. The same face. The same hands.

Just slightly older.

The same nervous system carrying old experiences. The same memories replaying themselves internally. The same emotional reactions. The same familiar insecurities.The same narratives about who we are.

Sometimes it can almost feel like we simply wake up each morning as yesterday’s self continued forward another day.

The same person wearing the same clothes. The same socks. Walking through the same routines.Thinking the same thoughts.

And because everything feels continuous, we naturally assume: “This is me. This has always been me.”

And in many ways, this makes sense psychologically.

Yes, our past absolutely shapes us. No doubt.

The child who learned rejection may still carry rejection internally years later.

The person who once felt unsafe may still move through the world bracing for danger.

Even our identities can begin to feel like accumulated memories repeating themselves over time:

“This is just who I am.” “I’ve always been anxious.” “I’ve always struggled with this.” “This is my personality.”

So I asked him gently again:

“Are we just made out of our past selves?”

And we sat with that for a while.

Then I asked another question.

“If the person from five years ago still exists… where do they exist right now?”

He thought carefully before answering.

“In my brain.”

And so we explored that further.

What exactly is the “past self”?

It is memory. Beliefs. Emotional experiences. Narratives. Protective strategies. Conditioning.

All of these are experiences stored somewhere within the mind.

So I asked him again:

“Right now, where does the version of you from five years ago reside?”

Again he answered:

“In my brain.”

Then I guided him a little further.

Right now, you can notice memories appearing.

You can notice old narratives about yourself.

You can notice fears, insecurities, emotional reactions.

You can even notice your brain physically residing your head and perhaps your mind saying: “This is who I am.”

But then I asked him:

“Who is noticing all of this?”

He became quiet.

And so we slowed down even more.

Right now, look at your hands.

These may be the same hands from yesterday.

The same hands from last year.

Perhaps even hands carrying years of memories and experiences.

But then ask yourself:

Who is noticing these hands right now?

Look at the clothes you are wearing.

Perhaps they are the same clothes you wore earlier today. The same socks. The same body continuing through time.

But then ask again:

Who is aware of this person wearing these clothes right now?

Who is sitting here in this exact moment noticing all of this?

Not yesterday’s self. Not the self from five years ago.

But you. Right now.

And as we slowed down into this experience together, something began shifting.

Because most people, when they really stop and look inward carefully enough, notice something strange.

It almost feels like “you” are somewhere behind your eyes.

Looking outward into the world. But also inward into your own mind.

The thoughts are being observed.

The memories are being observed.

The old identities are being observed.

Even the past self is being observed.

And if the past self can be observed, then perhaps it is not the entirety of who we are.

Because there is also a present awareness here right now doing the observing.

Not the self from five years ago.

Not merely yesterday continuing itself mechanically into today.

But this present consciousness. This immediate awareness. Right now.

And after sitting with this quietly for a while, he eventually answered:

“Me.”

“My present self.”

“My consciousness.”

And I think this realization matters deeply.

Because many of us become completely fused with the stories carried by the mind.

“A part of me from the past still feels I am unlovable.”

“A part of me from the past still feels I am a failure.”

“A part of me from the past still feels I am broken.”

And over time, these old experiences stop feeling like experiences.

They start feeling like identity.

But pause for a moment yourself.

Right now.

Notice your thoughts.

Notice the internal dialogue happening inside your mind.

Notice the emotions moving through your body.

Notice your hands.Your breathing.The clothes against your skin.

Then gently ask yourself:

Who is noticing all of this?

Not intellectually.

Experientially.

Notice that your thoughts are being observed.

Your emotions are being observed.

Even the sentence:

“This is who I am” is itself being observed.

And perhaps this is the important distinction:

The old narratives are real.The conditioning is real.The past shaped us deeply.

But there is also something here now that is more than mere continuation.

A present consciousness capable of noticing the past instead of only becoming it.

The observer behind the eyes.

The awareness that can look inward and say:

“A part of me from the past is feeling this right now.”

And in that moment, there is already some space.

Not because the pain disappears.

But because the observing self is no longer completely fused with the old story.

And perhaps healing begins there.

Not by erasing the past.

Not by denying what happened.

But by reconnecting with the awareness quietly noticing this moment right now.

The awareness that was there all along.

Take care,

Hernping