I Dare you to Hope.
It's not your fault that you haven't been able to.
I think a lot of us stop hoping, not because we want to, but because hope has started to feel like a dangerous thing.
For some of us, hoping means risking disappointment again. Another letdown. Another reminder of everything we wanted but couldn't have.
And when you've been hurt enough times, even the thought of hoping can feel painful.
I see this with clients, especially those who've lived with depression or trauma for a long time.
Sometimes, hopelessness becomes a way of protecting ourselves.
If I don't expect anything to change, perhaps I won't be disappointed when it doesn't.
If I don't let myself want something, perhaps it won't hurt so much when I lose it.
And I understand that. I really do.
But I think there's a painful cost to this protection.
When we stop hoping, we may also stop trying. We turn away from opportunities, relationships, or experiences because we already expect them to end badly.
And slowly, life can begin to feel a little colourless. Mundane. As though we're just going through the motions.
So here's a question I've been sitting with:
Which is more dangerous — to hope, or to never hope again?
I don't think the answer is to force ourselves to be optimistic, or to promise that everything will work out.
Sometimes things won't. Sometimes we'll try our hardest and still be disappointed.
But what if hope could mean giving ourselves permission to try, without demanding a particular ending?
To say, “This matters to me. I'm going to give it a chance.”
And if it doesn't work out, perhaps we can still say, “I tried. I showed up for something I cared about.”
Because when we stop ourselves from hoping, sometimes we also stop ourselves from doing the very things that might bring us closer to what we want.
I hope that whatever you're going through, things get better.
And while none of us can know exactly how life will unfold, I hope you won't have to give up on living it while you wait.
Take care, Hernping
💙
P. S. Super proud of one of my clients who has DARED to started writing a book about their story - let's do this!
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