On Emotional Invalidation.

And how to be "here" instead.

I know people usually mean well when they say this.

"This too shall pass".

And yes, emotions are impermanent.

Pain changes.

Feelings shift.

The intensity we feel now will not always stay this way forever.

But sometimes, when someone is deep inside their pain

Phrases like this can accidentally become dismissive instead of comforting.

I remember a conversation where someone was told:

“Emotions are temporary. You shouldn’t be feeling this for so long.”

And the truth is, while the intention may have been to help them not suffer forever,

what they actually felt was misunderstood.

Because when someone is drowning EMOTIONALLY, the last thing they need is PHILOSOPHY.

They need presence.

They need someone who can sit beside the feeling with them before trying to move them out of it.

You see, the person inside the emotion right now often cannot access the wider perspective yet.

To them, the sadness right now feels endless.

The grief right now feels consuming.

The fear right now feels real.

And healing does not happen by shaming people for feeling too deeply or for “not moving on fast enough.”

Sometimes healing begins with:

“That really hurts.”

“I understand why this affected you.”

“You don’t have to rush yourself out of this feeling.”

Because emotions are not problems to immediately solve.

They are experiences asking to be felt, seen and understood.

Of course, we also don’t want people to lose themselves completely inside their suffering forever.

But there is a difference between gently reminding someone that pain will change someday...

And making them feel wrong for hurting right now.

One creates connection.

The other creates loneliness.

So maybe before we rush to say:

“This too shall pass,”

We first say:

“I’m here with you while it hurts.”

Okay?

Take care,

Hernping

💙

#letskeepgoing

#empathy

#emotions

#traumainformed