The path to "secure attachment".

And the surprising answer behind this too.

You see, having conflicts in our relationships aren't a bad thing at all.

For every relationship involves two human beings.

Two sometimes very different human beings with very different feelings and needs too.

And conflict isn't just about shouting or pushing or arguing or abusing the other person either.

Nor is it just about one person being too sensitive or too emotional.

Or just bringing up problems and dumping it onto the other too.

Conflict, at least done the right way, is about expressing our very, very valid feelings...

Hurt, pain, sadness worry - all things that deserve to be expressed.

And underneath that lies our needs, currently hoping to be met too.

--

You see, the healthiest of relationships all have conflict.

And what makes them safe and secure is the ability to say:

"Hey, that hurt me"

And hear:

"I hear you. And I want to make things right for you again".

And in that process know that we are always cared for.

And loved.

And know that we matter.

You are loved,

Hernping

💙

In a lot of the deeper therapy work, this is quite often the essence of what we work on.

The ability to have conflict, the ability to express ourselves again.

And this week I'm really warmed and touched as I saw someone able to do this again :)

Because it is through conflict that we learn how to find our voice again.

Thank you for that voice of yours.

You really, really matter :)

🌊⛵🗻🌟

#conflicts

#attachmentstyle

#relationships

#relationalhealing

#complextrauma

#innerchildhealing