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A primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Updated: Aug 11, 2022

Getting to know why we are the way we are.

(Part 2 of the Heal with ACT series).

About three years ago, I fell into a depressive relapse again.

It was something I haven't experienced for a long time, since recovering from the last episode more than a decade ago.

Depression issued a wall of hopelessness, making me feel like there was nothing to look forward to anymore.

It made me feel like there was nothing worth living for.

This was despite having only just gotten married about a year before then, to a wonderful wife that I will forever be grateful for.

Still, I didn't choose to have depression, it just seemed to have wandered into my life again all on its own.

Along with the hopelessness, I also experienced a very low sense of self. I felt absolutely worthless - I mean, think about it, what kind of person gets married and then falls into depression, turning their wonderful newlywed wife into a miserable caregiver?

I was in the pits, not just feeling depressed, but also angry at myself. I hated myself for not being able to pull myself out of this situation.

And then there was the anxiety too - an overwhelming sense of fear. Sometimes, anxiety would paralyse me, causing my skin to crawl and my lungs to hyperventilate.

A rational side of me would try its best to pluck me out of anxiety, but for some reason, the irrational side of me was winning. I would then fall into a spiral of thoughts, sinking deeper and deeper in catastrophic negativity.

As you can imagine, my mind was a noisy place.

Along the theme of all the above, a harsh voice