This is what sits behind our Biggest Fears.
Updated: Jun 21, 2022
It's scary to revisit your past fears and traumas I know.
It feels safer to keep them locked away behind closed doors.
Still, whether you know it or not, much of our present pain and hurt are remnants of those from our past.
For example, perhaps you have an overly anxious mind that consistently thinks of all the bad things that might happen to you.
Or you have this feeling of ongoing sadness, that something isn't quite right with your life. That it feels empty, and things will never be good enough for you to be happy.
Or perhaps your relationships have suffered - that the thought of rejection frightens you, or you feel the need to put people's needs first before yourself.
Or that you have difficulties fully trusting in someone else, and worry that they might abandon or take advantage of you, so you lash out at the slightest sign.
Where do you think all of these come from?
They come from younger parts of ourselves, frozen in a time when our sense of safety was taken away.
Have a gentle think about it:
Looking at your ongoing struggles in your life, we can see that much of them come from within ourselves.
These are our thoughts and emotions, that can sometime feel like storms, making us react in ways we gravely regret.
But ask yourself this question:
Are your thoughts, emotions, memories, worries all really out to hurt you?
Because of our suffering, we might think of them as bad and blame them for our pain. But, have we really looked at them and see what they are really up to?
You might find that what sounds like painful inner screams at you are actually cries for help.
Listen closely and you might see:
Your anxious mind - a part of yourself that has become hypervigilant, becoming overprotective of your life.
Your sadness - a part of yourself that never got the love and fulfillment it needed when you were young, and has come to believe you will never attain it.
Your relationship behaviours - parts of yourself that felt like you needed to act this way in order to protect yourself from being hurt by others again.
Your anger - a past version of yourself that was perhaps bullied, not respected enough, looked down upon, and is not trying to present you as a tough person now.
These is just a few examples, but I hope you see that our problems very much stem from our past - as early as we were mere children.
Afterall, those were the moments we were most vulnerable and fragile right?
Those were the times when our safety was at the behest of others.
Healing involves looking into your fears and seeing what sits behind them.
I've done this time and time again with my clients, and even with myself.
What we will always find is some version of our past selves, a hurt younger inner child, that is still caught up in the pain of the past.
Healing involves getting to know them intimately, and then vice versa. So that we can gently let them know that you are no longer stuck in that time of hurt.
We'll guide these fragmented, younger parts of ourselves by hand, with plenty of love and compassion, and bring them back into the present with us.
Then finally together as one, we'll show them that we are fully capable of keeping them safe, that they will now receive the safety they rightfully deserved from all that time ago.
Through this process of reconnecting with our broken parts, we inevitably become whole again.
Healing comes from within. Shall we begin?