WORKSHEET - How to handle a harsh inner critic
Using principles from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Do you have a harsh inner critic? Me too.
For anyone who has a harsh inner critic, it’s like having a very negative voice in your mind that tells you things like:
“You’re such a failure!”
“What's wrong with you! "
"Why can’t you do even the simplest of things”.
This can really be a very hard experience to go through, often accompanied by difficult emotions like sadness and frustration.
But know this though, you are not alone.
In this worksheet, we will be learning to understand how to handle this inner critic using two priniciples from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
1. Cognitive Defusion:
When we dont see our thoughts as just thoughts and see them instead as "me", psychology terms this as being "cognitively fused" with them. We are fused with our thoughts and believe everything they tell us to believe. This of course leads to a heck lot of distress.
Cognitive defusion is about learning to see such thoughts, especially those from our inner critic, not so much as coming from ourselves, but thoughts we’ve internalised from our past. This can be anything from expectations set upon by our parents in childhood, society, or various influences from people around us, such as social media.
When we learn to "defuse" from our thoughts, we also learn to create distance from them. Which also then leaves us more room and choice over ourselves and our actions.
And feel better about ourselves too.
2. Values.
When we move towards our values instead, we align ourselves with what truly matters.
Being clear on our values helps us redefine what’s actually important to us, and choose another course of action instead of buying into the beliefs of our inner critic and how it wants us to react.
What is the purpose of your life? What are you striving for? Why?
Values is all about having clarity on the above - where even though we might not have the full answers, it does form an inner compass in terms of how we choose to live our life right now instead.
So give this worksheet a go if you will :)
Take care,
Hernping
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