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Words for those who don't have the words.

That we do need them, but we also need the space to feel and heal.


I'm often amazed at what this slightest bit of change can do for couples and families.



Turning a space that was maybe what once was a dismissive one.


Or an invalidating one.


Or a "too quick to problem solve" one.


Into a genuinely safe and caring one.



We all need words to tell that "other person" in our life.


That, yes, we do need them.


We do love them.


But we also need the space to feel and heal.


And that this is how they can learn to do so for us too.



That said though, this isn't always the easiest thing to communicate.



Perhaps the relationship was never built on such a communicative basis.


Or that emotions might be uncomfortable for the other to sit with.


Or that we ourselves are apprehensive about burdening them with our emotions.


But relationships need to feel safe in order for them to be real.


And safe enough for us to feel like we can be vulnerable too.


To share how we feel.


To be told that it's okay to feel what we feel.


For isn't safety and vulnerability the foundation for any of us to heal?



Feeling blessed to have seen this happen in many couples and families.



Even ones that started as the total opposite of safety and vulnerability.


In particular, I feel blessed to see this happen today too..


Between two individuals that make a beautiful couple.


Doing the best for each other in order to heal.


So I'm dedicating this post to the lovely D&A.


Glad to have journeyed along with the both of you too.


Take care,

Hernping

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