How to go from "fighting" to "healing".
It starts by "feeling".
In any relationship conflict, there are hearts that are hurting.
And a hurting heart doesn't get to heal when all we do is try to explain our own perspectives.
And why we did what we did.
But not take the time to hear how or why it hurt them.
And our own hurting heart doesn't get to heal if we don't share how we feel either.
And if our hurt isn't acknowledged or understood.
So if you're going through a relationship conflict with someone you love right now...
Take a pause with them please.
Ask them how they feel.
Or otherwise, ask them if you can share with then how you feel too.
Perhaps something like:
"I feel very hurt right now because this argument isn't getting any better."
"So I need you to listen to how I felt about what happened and try to understand why I feel the way I feel okay?"
(and then I want to understand how you feel too. Because despite this hurt, I still love you)