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What it really means to be "in control".

And learning to be safe, no matter what.


So I've always been someone who likes to "plan things out".


Because I'm sure you feel this way too, but it always feels reassuring to know what will happen next.


It makes me feel safe.

It makes the near future seem less daunting.

It makes me feel like I'm in control of things again.


But sometimes, as much as I want to plan and plan, I still can't control how things will turn out.


I can't control if it rains tomorrow.

But I can make wet weather plans.


I can't control if my wet weather plans turn out fine - my umbrella spoils, the place I'm going to is unexpectedly closed, or I somehow slip and fall before any of that happens.

I can't control it if the people I plan to meet suddenly fall ill and can't make it either.


For you see, a dozen things can go wrong even if we make the best plans.


And that's the true nature of things, much of life is outside our control.


If it has to do with the future and other people, then a bulk of this is simply out of our hands.



So then how do we reconcile the safety and reassurance that you and I have always seeked?



Well the first is to recognise that the big bluff and illusion has always been this - that safety has never been about controlling the "situation" at all - just as I've already shared in the reasons above.


And second, that safety can really only come from knowing that we, ourselves, will still be able to keep ourselves safe no matter what.


Validating ourselves if something bad happens.

Loving ourselves even with disappointment.

Trusting ourselves to know how to respond.


For the only thing we can really control in this world, is how we react in each present moment.


So in this present moment, how about we take some time to breathe and remind ourselves again.


That right now, we are safe.

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing.

You are safe right now as I am too.


And that we can always tap back into this knowledge and feeling.


No matter what.


Safely with you,

Me

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